Why Every Chapter of My Book Ends With You

A peek at the “You Are the Change” sections

When people hear I’m writing a book about my life, they usually assume it’s a memoir. It is, partly. But the most important part of every chapter isn’t my story. It’s the section at the end, called You Are the Change.

That’s where the book turns to you. After each story and the lessons I learned from it, there’s a set of reflection questions designed to help you look at your own life with fresh eyes. My big hope for this book is that you’ll finish it feeling like the hero of your own story, ready to build a life you love out of whatever circumstances you’ve been dealt.

This week, I revised those sections for the first three chapters. My goal was for every question to feel like a soft but steady hand up, not a test. A few things I changed:

• Permission up front. Each set now opens with a gentle note: there are no right answers, no one is grading you, and you can skip a question and come back another day.
• Smaller, clearer steps. Big questions are broken into smaller ones, so you can move through them at your own pace.
• Support for the heavy stuff. Some chapters go to hard places. Where they do, I’ve added encouragement to lean on a therapist, a support group, or a trusted friend, because some things were never meant to be worked through alone.

Here are a few of the questions, in case you’d like to try them now:

1. What is your very first memory? Close your eyes and let yourself be there for a moment. What do you see, hear, or feel?
2. Is there a “Christmas tree” in your life, something you rushed to fix or carry that was never yours to begin with?
3. If your closest friend were in your exact situation, what would you say to them? Can you say it to yourself?

I’d love to hear your answer to the first one. Share it in the comments if you feel like it. Mine involves baked beans, a picnic bench, and a trip to the hospital, haha.

Aubrey