The power of one decision amazes me. It can seem like the smallest, most miniscule thing, or even not, but can have a huge impact on one’s life trajectory.
To be completely blunt with you, I don’t know WHAT I would do if I did not walk with God. Sometimes, even today, I feel like a hot mess, but I at least know I am in His care and seeking His path for my life. If I did not have that, that undercurrent of peace and understanding that, in the end, He orchestrates everything for my good (and everyone’s good!) because I love Him and seek Him .. I am really not sure what I would do. I guess that dates back to when I was a teenager not being able to see life beyond 18 years old .. I really didn’t think I would make it. And, I didn’t. A new me was born when I was 18, and I’ve been discovering who I truly am, who God made me to be, ever since.
I’ve made some really tough decisions in my few years of walking with God. In 2012, I walked away from my marriage of 6 years. I had been “in the church” for 5 years at that time. Growing in God, learning the “Christian” ways .. I was so self-righteous that at 24 years old, I hadn’t had a legal sip of alcohol. I had quit drinking when I was 18.
I was full of my own self-righteousness and developed the tendency to look down on anyone that appeared to be less “put together” than I. We were the “perfect couple” .. married at 17, little high school sweethearts, portraying the relationship that everyone dreams of: perfect.
We ran a few businesses together. Worked together constantly. But, as I had begun the process of learning about my own passions and desires to work in a different industry, rifts formed, and the basis for our relationship, our dreams and our work, ruptured.
Many other details aside, I had a decision to make. Shut up and be quiet with a resignation to my own passions or break out on my own and follow what I believed that God was showing me.
I was giving up what I perceived could have been an “easy life” for one of more hard work, sweat, stress, and tears. I didn’t know if I would sink or swim. I didn’t even know if I was surely following God, because I felt judgment from those I had perceived to be my friends at church and at home.
That was 2 ½ years ago. In conclusion, I can say, today, through a long and at times difficult and heart-wrenching process, I am at peace with my decision. I am glad to say that I gave up the potential for an easy life for the acceptance of the pursuit of a life of passion, adventure, and craziness.
In the end, it’s me and God walking together. I know I’ll find the right man walking with He and I, at some point.
Oh, and one other thing that I learned from my “fall” from marriage: love people. Always. Don’t judge them. We are not perfect, and nor will any human be. Every day of my life, I would rather embrace humility than try to portray myself to be righteous.
Today’s Dare: What’s a time when you made a really tough decision? What was it and what was the end result? What’s a time when you made a small decision and it affected much in your life?
The butterfly effect is real. Every miniscule detail matters. Don’t stress it, but understand it. Go with it!