No matter where I go, I refuse to be either ashamed of, or overcome by, where I came from.
Check the picture. I was a super confused teenager (per the picture) and had a lot of issues laid out before me from age 6 to overcome.
In middle and high school, I struggled with not fitting in. Actually, I’ve never fit in anywhere I have gone. Finally today, I am more than ecstatic to say, I am okay and comfortable with that. I stopped trying to fit in.
But, as an insecure teenager who didn’t know or experience love and who didn’t know God and His unconditional love, I tried to find where I could be loved and accepted.
I tried pretty much all the cliques: goth, punk, hippies .. All except the preps, I couldn’t blend there. I was too much of a tom boy to belong. I never cared about what they cared about. So, thus, we didn’t mesh.
Even a year and a half ago, when attending a friend’s Crossfit (cult, *cough*) gym, I knew .. It was yet another place I didn’t fit in.
Okay so I gave up the fight. And, it isn’t a bitter thing for me – I no longer NEED a place to belong to or fit in. The entire process has finally made me strong to not require it. I don’t need the approval of others to affirm me. Thank God!!
Listening to an old playlist / album from back in the day that reminds me of the past and part of the process I’ve traversed through.
I share all this to say that I KNOW that I am not alone. I have no ego in regards to it – God, use me and my silliness, and my crazy story (stories) to impact those around me. I cannot believe that all my hardships have only been for y own benefit, although I receive the wisdom and benefit from all of them – believe me!
But, I add, here is where my rubber meets the road: this is not solely about me. By far. I want to hear others’ stories. I LOVE to hear the stories! Share! Please! Of victory, of triumph, of a God who redeems!
I love you. I’m honored to be in the adventure, the fight of life with you.